Swinging with the Finkels (2011)

One line summary: Boring script, indifferent idea, lackluster acting which was really boring to watch online. Alvin and Ellie have been married for nine years, and their intimacy has reached a plateau, a dry patch. The discuss this with friends, at first obliquely, then more openly. But the good news is free download is on the line. Their friends Janet and Jonathan have been married for about the same number of years, but also have a toddler plus a nursing child. Their situation is even more ‘dried up.’ Someone suggests costumes in the bedroom. The fireman’s getup did not work at all. Ellie’s manicure team suggest that she masturbate with a cucumber. She tries this after checking that she has sufficient time alone.  

She is deeply into the rhythm of it when Alvin returns with her grandparents, who have just flown in from the States. Unfortunately, he makes the mistake of opening their bedroom door without knocking and asking for permission to enter. Mr. and Mrs. Winters (the grandparents) have a wide variety of comments afterward. Ellie gets advice from her friend at work; Alvin gets advice at work whether he asks for it or not. Ellie’s advisers are a gay couple, who suggest swinging. Alvin’s advisers are a man from Canada and a young fellow from India who suggest Alvin take a mistress. They broach the idea with Peter and Janet, and that does not go well. The meet a number of couples through queries on the Internet. This is unsuccessful at first. After many attempts, they meet a couple who seem normal enough and are of a similar age and stage in their lives, with similar ‘drying up’ problems.  

They set a date to have a first full swap. They have some drinks with suggestive names, play pictionary, where the first word involves ‘vulva.’ Then they set off into separate bedrooms. There are not a lot of warmth the next morning, and the new couple take off fairly quickly. Alvin and Ellie find it hard to talk to each other afterwards, which is exactly what they need to do. Peter and Janet break up. Alvin and Ellie start back-biting, which leads directly to an indefinite separation. Goodness. Do the two couples get back together? Does anyone learn anything from all this discontent? ——Scores—— Cinematography: 9/10 No particular problems. Sound: 9/10 OK. Acting: 2/10 Jonathan Silverman I could have done without completely. Melissa George was horrible. Martin Freeman and Mandy Moore were more or less competent, and delivered the script. Everyone else was between OK and lackluster. Screenplay: 2/10 Boring, not engaging, seldom funny, not inventive. The ending sucked rocks.